Squirrel Cheese Rainbow
by I-Love-Green-Eyes
Summary: Random Harry Potter/Twilight Crossover with Fanana's! YAY! Pleas Read and Review!
1. DrFleb Fluck Rutty!

There it was again the most vile creature of all time I took out my wand, Pointed it at it, and muttered _"Petrificus Totalus" _under my breath. It dodged my spell, It flew towards me and I apparated to my apartment.

"Sue!" screamed a taco named Bob on the table, in a squeaky voice she asked, "What happened?"

"It-it I saw it." I said trying to recover.

"You mean Dr.Blab Fleck Rutty?" I nodded, and the Trio walked in.

"What's wrong Sue?" they asked in unison. Bob the taco answered.

"You saw Blab?" said Hermione and she Went and sat across from me on the table. I nodded.

Then a clown walked in and said "OMG!" and his wig fell off. he ran away in tears.

Ernie McMillan walked into the room and said. "Fool you is tripping why don't you use your army of Flying squirrels?" and then Hannah Abbot walked in the room and said "Ernie I LOVE YOU!" and kissed him. everyone in the room said. "OMG" except me I said. "OME!"

"What does OME mean?" asked Luna who just happened to be in the room.

"Oh My Edward." said Neville who walked in the room he saw Ernie and Hannah kissing. "OI! Hannah Your supposed to be married to me!" he screamed at his wife. She shrugged and continued to kiss Ernie, Luna shouted "NEVILLE I LOVE YOU!" and she kissed him on the mouth Neville kissed her back. Ron, who had watched this all, Shrugged and kissed Hermione. I shrugged too and picked up Bob the taco and kissed him. Then Ginny walked in and ran to Harry and Kissed him. Then the clown walked in again, Except he was now the emo clown so he was cutting his wrist. "What about Dr.Blab Fleck Rutty?" then everyone stopped kissing and said in unison "Oh yeah!"

I got up and put my wand to my neck "_Sonorous_". I cleared my throat and starting talking. "I Summon my army of Flying Squirrels!" then 10 flying squirrels came into. "Sunny I need you to Kill Dr.Blab Fleck Rutty!" her voice echoed through the room. everyone covered their ears. "Umm Susan you can lower your voice now." said the emo clown. "_Quietus_" I said with my wand pointing to my neck.

"Any way" her voice was normal now. she turned to Sunny the flying squirrel, and leader of her army., "I need you and, Sally," I pointed a squirrel with a paper on her chest that read '2' "Samuel" I pointed to the squirrel with a Mohawk and a paper with the number three on "Scottie" a squirrel with the number four on it "Suzie" another squirrel with the number five tattooed on its back. "Spalding" same but with a number six tattooed on it instead "Sterling" he had a paper on it and a number seven, "Shirley" an emo squirrel with a scar on her belly that read '8' "Scott" a gay squirrel with the number 9 tattooed on his back "and Diego" I pointed at the tiny squirrel that was drinking butterbeer he had a hat on and it read '10' "I need you all to kill Dr.Blab Fleck Rutty for me" I finished they al nodded then Scott the gay squirrel asked "Who's Dr.Blab Fleck Ruddy?"

"He's an evil Black Butterfly who eats people." said Luna.

"Oh" said Scott the gay squirrel.

Then all the Cullen's walked in. "Yo fools!" said Jasper. Then he turned emo because the emo squirrel and the emo clown were in the room.

"EMMETT" I screamed he was about to bite bob the taco and turn him into a vampire taco.

"Sorry" he said and put Bob the taco back onto the table, I ran to him and picked him up "Bob my love" I said and kissed him. "SUSAN" Screamed Diego the flying squirrel number ten. "Dude." he added and then he drank from his butterbeer. "what were you telling us to do before we were so rudely interrupted" he looked at the Cullen's.

"Oh yeah! well I need you all to annihilate him" I said stroking Bob's shell. Sally (The leader) nodded and said in a surprisingly deep voice. "We will start as soon as possible, All we need is his scent." and I got up and grabbed a shirt he had pooped on before "Here, He pooped on this the last time I saw him." I handed it to him.

"OMG I just remembered!" screamed emo clown and he ran out of the room and then Fred and George cam into the room.

"What's up with Rolf?" asked George pointing at emo clown.

"I broke up with him and he turned emo." said Luna.

"Oh" said Fred. and he pulled out a Ham and hit Edward on the head.

Then a group of Fangirls screamed "OME IT'S EDWARD!" and Edward ran into the door the had randomly appeared there, It lead to a room of requirement. when the fangirls got into the room they asked "Where's Edward?" then they shrugged. Then Rupert Grint walked in and the Fangirls grabbed him and dragged him out of the room, while screaming. "What was Rupert Grint doing here?" asked Ron. I shrugged.

And then Edward came out of the room. "Thank god Rupert Grint just happened to come here." he said

"Yep" said Harry, He was jealous that the Fangirls went after Edward and not him, and then a group of Neville fangirls came in the, Luna grabbed him and ran into the room of requirement. Then a rhino came in "Bob my love." he said to my boyfriend Bob the taco. "Camilla!" he said. I started crying and ran into the room of requirement I saw Luna and Neville snogging. "OI!" I screamed and they broke apart. Then the trio, Ginny, The Cullen's, and My army of Flying Squirrels came in. "What happened?" I asked. and Ginny said "Bob the taco and Camilla the Rhino are making Lemonade!" I collapsed into a chair that appeared out of no where. "He never made lemonade with me!"

"It's Okay I'll let you marry James Sirius when he's born" she said rubbing her belly.

"Thanks!" I said, Then Rolf the emo clown came in his wrist all bloody, "Luna Your pregnant with my twins!" he said and Luna said "There not yours their Neville's" Neville nodded. and then Rolf the Emo clown started to cry, and then Jasper cried too. "Jasper why don't you calm him down?" said Alice. "He's to emo!" said Jasper in between his dry sobs.

"Harry!" said Edward. "Oops sorry." he said. "No not that aren't you guys magic?"

"Oh yeah!" he said and took out his wand "SUPER HAPPY RAINBOW SUNSHINE SQUIRREL CHEESE!" he screamed and Rolf the emo clown turn un-emo and Jasper stopped dry sobbing. "Thank you" said Jasper. and he went gangsta. "Thankizzle youizzle Harrizzle foshizzle!"

"Jasper don't talk Gangsta, I do it better!" said Emmett and he started talking Gangsta and then Esme said "Why don't you have a rice pudding eating contest!"

"Because then we have to cough it up!" said Jasper abandoning his Gangsta talk.

"I toldizzle youizzle thatizzle youizzle cantizzle talkizzle gangstizzle likeizzle me" he said and then he added "izzle." but they had the competition anyway and Emmett won but he ran to the bathroom that appeared out of nowhere to cough it up and Jasper followed.

"Dudes, where are Hannah and Ernie?" I asked. and then we heard Hannah scream from outside "someone needs to save them!" said Ginny and Edward and his sexy self went out to save them after he kissed Bella. He used his sexy power and super vampire strength to save them. When he came back Hannah had a lemon stamped on to her forehead. "will it come off?" asked Ernie he had a lemon stamped on his shirt.

Harry answered "Nope" and Ernie started to cry. Hannah cursed and went to comfort Ernie.

"OMG!" said Rolf the un-emo clown. He pointed to a window, I looked up it was Dr.Flab Fleck Rutty the Evil black butterfly that eat/bites people.

"ATTACK MY PRETTIES!" I yelled and my army of flying squirrels attacked him, Dr.Flab Fleck Rutty died and then Ginny's water broke. "OMH I'm going to give birth!" she screamed and then Harry fainted, _"ennervate!"_ said Hermione and she pointed her wand at him. He unfainted and a bed appeared out of no where and the put Ginny on it and Carlisle told every one to go into the extra big closet that appeared out of nowhere and everyone except the trio went inside it and watched a Harry Potter movie while they waited.

A FEW HOURS LATER

I was eating a Banana sundae when Ron came into the extra big closet and told me to come out he said I got to come first because he was my future boyfriend. "Meet James Sirius Potter!" said Harry, and I went up to him and kissed him on the forehead he was so cute and then a flying monkey came and said. "OMLOM Your squirrels killed my pet butterfly!" and then I pointed my finger at him and said "ATTACK MY PRETTIES!" and my army of flying squirrels killed him. Then Ron told me to go back in the extra big closet so Neville could see my future husband James. "Okay!" I said and went into the extra big closet that had appeared out of nowhere they were watching the twilight movie (Because there all super awesome like that and got to see it early) "Neville you next" I said and grabbed a cherry pie and started to eat it.

We finished watching it and then Daniel Radcliffe walked into the Extra big closet with a flat screen TV that had appeared out of nowhere. He gave us the New Harry Potter Movie and we sat down to watch it.

Then I asked "Where are Fred and George?"

MEANWHILE IN IN DR.FLAB FLECK RUTTY'S LAIR

"Those damn flying squirrels killed my husband!" said Mrs.Rutty wife of Dr. Flab Fleck Rutty.

"They killed Mine too!" said Mrs.Random-Flying-Monkey.

Then their pet rat Betty, Sent a beam of rainbows at them and they died, She wanted to Rule the world and _they _got in her way she went to the house where the flying squirrels lived and killed them all, Or did she? and then dramatic music started to play.

To be continued...

A/N: Well that's the first chapter. Well if you got here then you read it I guess Please Review! I'm writing the second chapter and posting it soon!


	2. The Attack of the Fanana's!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Twilight, I own the Fananas.

THE GIGANTIC CAVE WHERE FRED AND GEORGE WHERE

"Where are we?" asked George.

"I Dunno" Fred replied and then a dung beetle came in the gigantic cave and threw dung at them.

"Wtf?" Fred asked. George shrugged and a leprechaun came into the gigantic cave and told them to stay away from his lucky charms. Then Betty the evil white rat came in the room, She was about to kill them when Diego came in with a banana and hit her on the head! Then Scottie the gay squirrel came in and sent a beam of rainbows at her but betty the evil rats powers were so strong it didn't effect her. So she ran away.

"Thanks guys!" said Fred trying to regain his breath.

IN THE EXTRA BIG CLOSET

I was eating fudge when, Fred and George ran in Followed by Scottie the gay flying squirrel, Diego the only normal flying squirrel, and Shirley the emo squirrel.

"Where's Sally and the rest of the army?" I asked.

"Betty the evil Rat, Murdered them all." said Shirley the emo flying squirrel and he started to cry, Jasper calmed him down because he wasn't super emo like the un-emo clown used to be.

Then Emma Watson came into the room and gave me a plantain to hit my self on the head with "PLANTAIN POWER!" I screamed while hitting myself on the head with the plantain.

Then Rupert Grint came in he was covered in battle wounds but looked hotter because of them.

"Rupert are you okay? It was the Fangirls again huh?" asked Daniel Radcliffe who was watching the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood prince movie with us. Rupert nodded and i gave him the plantain so he could hit his head with while screaming "PLANTAIN POWER!" and he did.

And then another flying monkey came in and screamed "OMLOFM! Betty the evil rat is going to get you!" since i didn't have my army of flying squirrels I threw a ham at him and it killed him.

"Where did you get the ham?" said Rupert

"Ask the author" i said and then Rupert said "Where did she get a ham?" looking at the ceiling.

Then a giant cloud came out of no where and the author said. "I dunno just go with it. I'm making this up as i go along. Now where was oh yeah!" she said and the cloud disappeared.

and then Mike Newton came in the room, Dancing to the cha cha slide. I decided to end our misery so i threw a chicken wing at him and he died because the chicken wing kills people who dance to the cha cha slide. Then Jessica Stanley came in and i threw hot fudge at her and she died. Then we threw a party because they both were dead and Jacob came in, Bella told him he was ugly and that he smelled so I handed her a pie that kills annoying werewolves and she threw it at him and then we threw another party and Seth, Quil, and Embry joined in i asked "Aren't you guys friends with Jacob?" and they said. "He was really annoying so we kicked him out of the pack." and we had a super fun amazing party until we heard Ginny telling us to shut up. So we sat down and watched another movie, The chronicles of narnia Prince Caspian. I thought the dude was ugly and then Bella hit me on the head. "What was that for?" i asked she shrugged and said "The author made me do it." so we watched the movie and then a flying banana came in the room and said. "OMLOB It's Daniel Radcliffe!" and then Daniel hid from the Fanana, and I grabbed it and ate it, and Dan came out of his hiding place and i decided to close the window because we were so awesome that random flying things kept coming in the room.

"SO now what do we do?" asked Emmett.

"Why don't we see if Bob and Camilla are finished making lemonade?" said Jasper and we all went to the kitchen in my room, It smelled like grapefruit. But Bob and Camilla were no where to be seen! "OMJSP Where are Bob the taco and Camilla the rhino?" I said and then more dramatic music starts to play.

MEANWHILE WHEREVER BETTY THE EVIL RAT IS

Betty the evil rat was Drinking some carrot juice and working on something. "I just need to fix this...Oh i have to put a watermelon here..." she said as she worked her voice sounded Michael Jackson's "Finished!" she said, and then a fanana came in the room and it said "Your not Robert Pattinson!" and Betty zapped her with her a ray and then the Fanana said "Yes Master." and Betty started spilling the beans about her plan " I will use this watermelon ray to control all Fangirls and Fananas across the world therefore having an army at my command to help me rule the world!" and then more dramatic music starts to play.

OUTSIDE WHEREVER BETTY THE RAT IS

Bonnie Wright was listening to every word Betty the evil rat had said so she ran onto her unicycle and went to Susan's apartment to warn them about the watermelon ray and Betty the evil rat.

BACK AT SUSANS APARTMENT

I went to the window and saw bonnie Wright on a unicycle. "OMJSP It's Bonnie on a Unicycle!" and then Dan, Rupert, and Emma came and said "ZOMG!" and I saw Bonnie get off her Unicycle and came upstairs to where my apartment was. She said "ZOMG Betty the evil rat is going to take over the world with a watermelon ray that controls fangirls and fananas!" she said and Robert Pattinson came in the room and Hermione said "You look familiar..." and I said "DUH He played cedric in GoF and Edward in Twilight!" and Hermione said "Oh Right"

A FEW MINUTES LATER

"Why don't we start an army of flying squirrels again?" asked Ernie while we planned how to foil Betty the evil rats plan.

"No, She killed my last one and it takes a while to start up another army i have to find a whole bunch of names that begin with S" i said.

"I got it! Why don't we lead all the fangirls and Fananas here and lock them up in the extra bid closet!" said Bella looking up at Harry, Neville, Ron, Rupert, Dan, Jasper, Emmett, Robert, and Edward. Then Rupert said "No way! not again My battle wounds are still fresh!" and I said "Well then just Harry, Neville, Ron, Dan, Jasper, Emmett, Robert, and Edward!"

LATER

"So how do we get the Fananas and The Fangirls here?" asked Emma.

"Ask Ginny she's the queen of the Fangirls." I said.

"All you have to do is call the leader's of the group and tell them who you have he-" she started and then a bunch of Fananas flew into the room except they were under control of Betty the evil rat! and Dramatic Music Starts to play.

MEANWHILE WHEREVER BOB THE TACO AND CAMILLA THE RHINO ARE

"Camilla my love." said Bob the taco, "Where in the world are we?"

"Just wait darling." she said and they waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited. Then a Fanana came and hit Bob in the head. So Camilla grabbed it and sat on it.

To be continued…

No reviews sadly,


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